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Dating your ex once more can be a risk. If you go about information technology in an emotionally good for you fashion, you may be able to rekindle your relationship and go far stronger than e'er. Focusing on how yous've grown and what you can both to exercise go better partners can make your new relationship flourish as you effort over again. Past keeping a level head and communicating clearly, you lot tin kickoff dating your ex again in a healthy, stable way.

  1. 1

    Focus on your own life get-go. Breakups are tough, and dealing with emotional pain is never piece of cake. Try to work on yourself by eating well, exercising regularly, and working on your ain personal goals.[1] If your ex sees you as a more well-rounded person, they'll probably exist more open to dating you—and this could even attract them to you again equally they run into what they're missing.[two]

    • Approaching your ex when you lot aren't doing well might lead to them pitying you, and no 1 wants that.

  2. ii

    Attract your ex by staying aloof. If you text your ex constantly or transport them messages on social media, they might feel overwhelmed. Stay focused on your ain life and try to piece of work on your goals until you experience confident enough to reach out again.[3]

    • Showing your ex that you're doing fine without them tin make them even more than attracted to you.

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  3. 3

    Achieve out when you lot experience set. If it'south simply been a few days since your breakup, it's probably likewise soon. Attempt texting or calling your ex when you experience similar you can handle a rejection, not when the breakup is still fresh.[four]

    • This tin can be a footling tough since there's no prepare timeline for when you might experience "gear up." If you just feel lonely or in need of a relationship, you should probably wait a trivial longer.
    • You can first the conversation by saying something like, "Hey, could we meet upward? I wanted to talk virtually perchance dating once again, if you're interested."

  4. 4

    Express your feelings and the reasons why you desire to appointment once again. Well-nigh people care for breakups like the absolute terminate of a relationship, so your ex probably isn't expecting this. Sit downwardly with your ex and try to list the reasons why you retrieve your relationship could work this fourth dimension, and be prepared to answer any questions they might have.[v]

    • You lot could endeavour proverb, "I know our relationship was rocky in the past. I've really been working on fixing my bad habits, and I remember nosotros could really brand it piece of work this fourth dimension."
    • Your ex may as well say no or be hesitant about trying your relationship again, which is valid. Listen to their concerns and effort to work it out together.

  5. five

    Talk most relationships you lot had while yous were apart. If y'all dated someone after you two separate up, permit your ex know. If they dated someone for a while too, enquire about it. You don't have to get into specifics, simply you should both know about whatever other relationships that happened when you weren't together.[6]

    • It can exist tough to hear almost what your ex did when you weren't together, just it's better to find out at present than be blindsided afterwards.
    • If your ex is upset that yous dated someone else, effort to address their fears or concerns earlier jumping into your relationship to avoid bug down the road.

  6. six

    Agree to work on your old problems. When y'all've already been together, you both know about the issues that could arise in the hereafter. As you ii talk nigh your new relationship, be sure to address the issues that happened in the by and what yous can both exercise to avoid them in the time to come. Attempt to stay away from the blame game, and instead focus on actionable steps that yous can both take.[vii]

    • For example, if you fought a lot nigh coin, concur to be more than open with your finances to avert any surprises.
    • Or, if yous weren't on the same page about marriage, talk about your life plans and where you encounter yourself in 5 years.
    • Or, if either of you had trust bug, talk nearly beingness honest with each other no matter what.

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  1. i

    Have your relationship wearisome. No thing what stage of your relationship you lot were in earlier, your new human relationship is only that: a new one. If you were living with your partner, engaged, or even married, merely care for your relationship similar you're dating again for the first fourth dimension.

    • Taking things slow tin can also help you both correct whatsoever negative behaviors that led to your breakdown.
    • If you lot were living together, consider living separately for a while, even after you've gotten back together.

  2. 2

    Create new memories instead of reliving sometime ones. If you were with your ex for a while, it might exist easy to autumn into the same patterns that you were used to. Try practise new and exciting things together to go on the relationship fresh and rekindle your romance.[viii]

    • For example, yous could take a weekly date night to visit a new restaurant you've never been to.
    • Or, you could plan a weekend getaway to a town y'all've never visited earlier.

  3. 3

    Work on changing your old behaviors. If you detect yourself falling back into the patterns that caused problems in the get-go place, recognize them and work to correct them. Yous know now what could pb to a breakup, then try to avert that at all costs.[nine]

    • It's 1 thing to say you lot'll be improve with your money, simply it's some other thing to actually stick to your budget every month and avoid overspending.
    • You lot tin can also inquire your partner to check in with you well-nigh your bad habits. If they notice anything worrying, they can let you know before it becomes a problem.

  4. 4

    Communicate calmly and respectfully. If your partner is doing something that you accept a trouble with, sit down them down and talk to them about it. You lot tin also ask them to do the same affair for you. Try to talk well-nigh problems as soon as they come up, and do it without yelling or blaming each other.[10]

    • Skilful communication is ane of the biggest indicators that a relationship volition piece of work. When your communication breaks downward, that's when the problems actually start.
    • For example, you could say, "I noticed that you lot're staying out late once again without calling me, and that'due south made me upset in the past. Could we talk virtually this earlier it turns into a huge issue?"
    • If you're having trouble communicating, consider seeing a couple's counselor.

  5. five

    Avoid talking most your breakup too much. Information technology was probably painful for both of you, and yous don't need to remind your partner about it every day (or every time you go far a fight). Focus on enjoying the now, not living in the by with your bad memories.

    • When you lot agree to rekindle your relationship, make sure yous're over the issues that caused your breakdown. If you aren't over them or you oasis't made your peace with them, you'll probably bring them upwards to hurt your partner in the future.

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  1. 1

    Ask yourself why you lot'd similar to engagement your ex again. Is it because you're lone? Or do yous really miss your ex for who they were? If you think that you're just pursuing your ex again because you don't desire to exist single anymore, you should have some time to work on yourself.[11] [12]

    • Getting into a human relationship just to be in a relationship ordinarily doesn't end well, especially with someone you've dated earlier.

  2. two

    Analyze the reasons you bankrupt upward in the first place. If you still aren't over it or you lot haven't fully processed it, you should probably concur off. Actually recall nigh the problems in your human relationship and what caused your split before you start talking to your ex again.[13]

    • For example, if your ex cheated on you, yous might have to consider whether or not you're willing to forgive them before y'all get dorsum together.
    • Or, if you lot just grew autonomously, you might want to think almost how yous could reconnect and rekindle your human relationship in the time to come.

  3. 3

    Think well-nigh the bad times besides equally the skilful times. When you look back on your human relationship, it's easy to just think about the times when y'all 2 were really happy. Still, before you decide to pursue the human relationship again, think about the times when you were sad, angry, or frustrated. Are you lot willing to risk going through that again, or is it likewise much to handle?[fourteen]

    • If y'all're having trouble remembering the tough times (these tend to fade with time), consider request your friends well-nigh it. Chances are, they'll call back when you talked about your frustrations in the human relationship.

  4. iv

    Stay away from your ex if your human relationship was toxic. Toxic relationships can be easy to miss when yous're in them. Retrieve most how often yous and your ex fought and how expert you were at communicating your issues. If you brought out the bad in each other, it might be meliorate to move on.[15]

    • Again, you can talk to your friends and family about this, too. They've probably recognized some bad patterns in your human relationship, fifty-fifty if you haven't.

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Add together New Question

  • Question

    Should I outset dating my ex over again?

    Amy Chan

    Amy Chan is the Founder of Renew Breakdown Bootcamp, a retreat that takes a scientific and spiritual approach to heal after the terminate of a human relationship. Her team of psychologists and coaches has helped hundreds of individuals in only 2 years of performance, and the bootcamp has been featured on CNN, Vogue, the New York Times, and Fortune. Her book virtually her work, Breakdown Bootcamp, will be published past HarperCollins in Jan 2020.

    Amy Chan

    Relationship Passenger vehicle

    Expert Respond

    Back up wikiHow past unlocking this adept respond.

    Not necessarily. It's normal to miss your ex subsequently a breakdown—your brain is still looking for the comfort that you used to get in the relationship. However, that doesn't necessarily hateful it's a practiced thought to go dorsum together.

  • Question

    Why do I want to get dorsum with my ex?

    Amy Chan

    Amy Chan is the Founder of Renew Breakdown Bootcamp, a retreat that takes a scientific and spiritual approach to heal later the end of a relationship. Her team of psychologists and coaches has helped hundreds of individuals in only 2 years of performance, and the bootcamp has been featured on CNN, Vogue, the New York Times, and Fortune. Her book about her work, Breakdown Bootcamp, will exist published by HarperCollins in January 2020.

    Amy Chan

    Relationship Coach

    Skilful Reply

    Back up wikiHow by unlocking this good answer.

    Feeling pitiful and missing your ex afterward a breakup is natural. When you starting time get together, you experience a large flood of chemicals that make you lot feel exhilarated and close to your partner. During a breakup, your brain experiences those same chemic reactions, but in reverse.

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  • Your ex might not desire to date you again, and that'due south okay. Try to focus on yourself and move on when y'all experience ready.

  • If you're having trouble talking to each other, consider seeing a couple'due south counselor to go a third-party perspective.

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